Personality

Every child has a unique personality. No two children in the world are alike. God has created every child as a ‘one of a kind’ model.

As we train our children we are not trying to change their basic personality. Your outgoing, social child will probably always be outgoing. Your sensitive, sweet child will always be sensitive. Your laid-back, easy-going child will basically always be phlegmatic, and your take-charge, leader will most likely remain assertive too.

One of the most challenging parts of parenting is to maximise the positives of our child’s personality and minimize the negative aspects. We are not changing their basic personality, rather enhancing it.

Each personality type can be taught to show kindness to others, but it may be expressed in different ways. It is a great joy to channel your outgoing child’s natural interest in others into the virtue of hospitality. Your sensitive child can be prompted to act on the emotions they notice in others, for example sending a card to a friend who was sad. Your budding leader can be given a project to plan. For example, “What could we do for Mrs Bill to cheer her up?” They will love using their natural abilities to organize and implement an act of kindness.

Each personality will also have traits that need working on. For example, you will need to diligently encourage your little social butterfly not to dominate social conversations, while you gentle encourage your sensitive child to simple say hello. Or you may need to motivate your laid-back child to apply themselves diligently to their chores, while quietly explaining to your choleric child that she doesn’t need to tell her siblings how to do the chores!

No personality is exempt from the virtues of kindness, politeness, self-control, diligence, cheerfulness, honesty and so on. However, how you train a child to each of these virtues will greatly depend on their uniqueness. Enjoy!

Ps 139:13 For you created my inmost being, you knit me together.